Paradise Regained

Almost every other postcard island claims to be an ‘Undiscovered paradise’ but there is one piece of geography, plonked south of South Australia, that can stake a claim to this reputation. Bhisham Mansukhani found - on his briefest of excursions - that Kangaroo Island could well be closest to a contemporary Crusoe’s dream

Australia was the inextricable holy grail for every explorer that ever ventured, apart from a regular stream of British convicts. In fact it still is, with more animals than humans populating the landscape. Kangaroo Island, off the Adeladian coast is a promising enough place to start, with a population of 4,500 humans and 10,00,000 sheep. But so abundant it is in natural splendour that it was enough to convince Dr Vijay Mallya to land his private jet with an entourage of supermodels to the island. Oh dear! About 155 km long and 55 km wide, the island is South Australia's largest and Australia's third in terms of size and has been separate from the Australian mainland for the last 9,000 years.

Of Humans And Other Animals

As the name suggests, the unfamiliar visitor can't go wrong expecting columns of kangaroos skipping across the naturally manicured undergrowth. One can also encounter the indigenous wallabies and the cuddly koalas, though from a respectable distance. Another not so welcome one is the ferrel cat, which the thoroughbred farmer considers good news only in the obituary section.

There are two distinct options to access Kangaroo Island - cruise and flight. My itinerary had me down for a catamaran both ways, which was probably a relevant call since most Indian tourists are likely to do the same given the insignificant difference in time (45 minutes by sea, two hours from Adelaide to Cape Jervis and 30 minutes by flight) and not quite in cash. Operated by private entity Sea Link, an impressive self-contained bargesque catamaran appropriately christened 'Spirit of Kangaroo Island' departed from Cape Jervis, bound for Penneshaw jetty, carrying close to its capacity of 244 passengers, boasting a television, video and a baby change table. Just in case. The catamaran transported myself and a high profile group of culinary scribes that I tried and tried to make conversation with. Bumping around on an unusually choppy tide, my mention of the statistic of 80 shipwrecks around the island's coastline didn't make me an instant hit with them. I wonder why?

The rains seemed to threaten us as we landed on Kangaroo Islands. But breakfast at the quaint Hog Bay Store was just the prescription to calm the weather gods, and the heavens abated as I contemplated my second round of cold cuts and warm bread. Left of me, the impenetrably sanguine Texan Carol Ritchie, a cooking show presenter, couldn't get enough of the eggs; she was photographing them. So it was finally time to wander free and stoke the Columbus in me. But considering that my faculty for navigation was a little more initiated than that of an inebriated pooch, I realised the importance of an abridged dossier of fast facts for an abominable bloke.

First stop, the Fryas Free Range Eggs farm, home to thousands of free range chooks (Aussie for hens). Now, don't get disheartened dear reader; the visit is quite worth it. The farm, for one, is a wide cornucopia of fresh green. While most of the South Australian countryside is like that, it's not all dotted with free-range chooks. Oh, you should have seen them running around eating. Carol was reliably clicking away, while Italian celebrity chef and recipe tome writer, Antonio Carluccio, stared hard at the guardian dogs that happened to be an indigenous Italian breed, Maremma. I tried to chase some chooks to work up an appetite and catch some literally fresh lunch. Unluckily, I was still hungry from my unsuccessful unarmed hunt and matters weren't helped by witnessing a demonstration of the shredding of a sheep - a strip club act with a twist.

Cape du Couedic Lighthouse	Penneshaw
Flinders Chase National Park	Remarkable Rocks

'Skulling' And Dining

My personal highlight of the day besides lunch was wandering around the Islander winery. Windswept and teasingly Burgundy, the vineyards yields Cabernet Sauvignon, Shiraz and Viognier among notables. Downing a rare draft of Grenache, I was tempted to put up my feet and seance for the rest of the afternoon. Menacingly, I was informed that the bees awaited. Specifically, Ligurian bees. Apparantely, the island’s Ligurian bee population, although originally Italian, is the world’s last remaining pure strain. My luck, however, was taking a turn for the better as the visit turned out to be more of sinful honey tasting. The tasting pleasures spilled onto the Ferguson Australia Lobster farm, where I savoured some Southern Rock Lobster. One look at the live lobsters though and I was forced to recall a childhood nightmare of my pesky cousin planting a faux lobster soft toy on my shoulder, delighting in my consequent, queasy fit. I was therefore taking no chances, letting Carluccio handle the claw laden creatures (tasty when dead) instead and pose with very impressed lady journalists. A fittingly Italian protocol.

Following the serial showcase of Kangaroo Island's best natural produce, it was time to feast on all of it at one of the most authentically rustic dinners I've had the pleasure of attending. The Good Food Kangaroo Island, Kangaroo Island Grape Growers and Wine Makers Association and Tourism Kangaroo Island took some pains to piece together a sumptuous yet delectably simplistic banquet on the bay, swept by a coastal draft and some good old rural Australian warmth. The meal was peppered with historical commentary and anecdotes that required the non-negotiable pre-requisite of skulling (bottoms-up to make way for the next round of drinks). Two Chardonnays skulled, I decided to skin dip. This may be a good time to mention another of Kangaroo Island's major and not so advertised attractions. There are a number of sea creatures waiting to be discovered within the cool waters off Kangaroo Island like the truncate coral fish, blue devil fish and the Carcharodon Carcharias. In English, the Great White Shark. Shark! We're going to need a bigger boat, chief! Back to the skulling.

The next morning, ahem…no, the same morning, I was up relatively early though I missed the gorgeous sunrise. Never mind, it was time to drive into the wilder side of the island in a 4x4, courtesy Wilderness Tours. Our tour guide and navigator for the day, seasoned farmer Don Jenkins saw the economic benefits of tourism with measured optimism, underlining the need to bring in tourists sensitive to the pristine and unburdened eco-system which was incredibly attractive for that very reason. Jenkins, though, was also keen to take his group to the island's most celebrated attractions. To begin with, there was the languorous but impressive seal population. The Seal Bay Conservation Park, located on the south coast, an hour's drive from the main town of Kingscote, is home to the island's colony of wild Australian sea lions. Like the island's many unique attributes, Kangaroo Island is one of the few places on earth where sea lions are tolerant to an incessant tourist stream, but from a safe distance which is the responsibility of the tour escort. There are also restrictions on the number of tourists allowed on the beach. Stunned by the sweeping view of the pristine waters visible right into the horizon, it took me some time to regard the seals. The sight of a several tonne bull, beached conspicuously, was enough to dominate my attention.

Moving along, the next and in fact an unscheduled stop was a detour to Vivonne Bay, which in hindsight, was the indisputable highlight of our roadtrip not merely for the hype of being voted Australia's most beautiful beach. Uncivilised sands tapering into turquoise, translucent waters, superimposed on a sky to which divinity had added clouds with some subtlety, created an ethereal planet. The absence of humanity helped sustain that illusion and the gorgeous but shark-infested waters will probably ensure it.

Islanders Winery	Admirals Arch
Kangarooo Island’s hallmark sunrise	Hay Bales on a typical Aussie Farm outside Kingscote

Parting Shots

A Kuala grips his eucalyptus tree home

Lunch was an Aussie style barbeque at Flinders Chase Natural Park, with domesticated kangaroos for company. Jenkins juggled a traditional European Entrée of a crackers-n-cheese platter with a rare slice of prime steak. Carving out my share of the beef was turning into a panicky affair as my more experienced German counterparts gained on me. But a simple change of grip had me gorging on my kill, figuratively speaking. Fully aware of the perils of post-lunch snoozing, Jenkins thrust us headlong into the finest of Kangaroo Island's sights. Cape du Couedic illustrated the sheer grandeur of marine isolation that is Kangoroo Island. A wide sea face with a surface bereft of any boating or any other misplacement between the island and the South Pole; it was probably how it had always been. A further stroll down the scenic route leads to Admirals Arch, which homes a colony of New Zealand fur seals, is a photographer's dream. In fact, even a landscape artist's. The arch is a spectacle of natural artistry - a unique rock formation carved out by decades of sea erosion. Recognising this, authorities built a viewing platform and a boardwalk around the cliff face to give onlookers a grand view of the anonymous sculpture. Not for sale, however. It is rare for Mother Nature to show off her penchant for obtuse art in such proximity, but then this is Australia.

Australian sea lions get cosy at the Seal Bay Conservation Park

A short drive from Admirals Arch took us to Remarkable Rock, a strikingly distinct cluster of immense granite, seemingly drilled into. Five hundred million years of combined sea and wind spray tends to do that, even to the hardest of the lot. I squatted ungainly into one of them, posing for my patient Kiwi friend and culinary pulp writer Margaret to photograph the rock consuming me.

Brooding over such limitless space under a lilac sky and windy silence can soak up years. So 23 minutes was a tad unreasonable but the send-off dinner back at Hog Bay Stores beckoned. A lavish spread of sea food including lobster, salmon, et al tempered by strawberry and cheeses, on a patio seating by the darkening bay still fell short of a happy ending. I stared with elevated jealousy at the strollers on the promenade, luckier than myself, blissfully pacing in the knowledge that they weren't leaving in another half hour. I resumed skulling some Chiraz without any local compulsion, but it did little to lift that sinking feeling.

Kangaroo Island has certain elements endemic to its precinct. While the list includes the world's purest strain of Ligurian bees and mercifully, even the leafy sea-dragon, there is yet one more rather painful attribute. The suffusion of a natural spontaneous wonder for all things unharnessed and uncorrupted by cavernous civilisation can only really be found here and 45 minutes on my second Sea Link shuttle trip took most of that away. Putting it down, back home, has only helped retain the slightest bit.